Dealing with Disappointed Dads

Luke 15:11-32

Father’s Day

June 18, 2006

Sometimes the deepest hurts and greatest disappointments that we experience in life come from our families—our spouse, our children, our relatives. They can be ungrateful, they can be unkind, they can be unfaithful. This story that we’re going to look at today is one of Jesus’ most famous parables. It’s a story that gives hope for hurting parents, especially disappointed dads.

I’m no authority on parenting—yet. But I do know that children can sometimes disappoint us.  They may not live up to our expectations to be the perfect child.  For example, the lady asked her husband, after he took their son to school, "Did Billy cry when you took him to school?" He said, "No, but his teacher did."

Although today’s scripture is often called the parable of the Prodigal Son—by the way, do you know what “Prodigal” means?  It means excessive extravagance.  Anyway, the key figure in the parable is the Father, so I prefer to call it the Parable of the Loving Father.

His younger son came to his dad and said, in essence, “I know you’re gonna’ drop dead someday, but I don’t want to wait–give my inheritance to me now.” Although the Father was wounded by this harsh demand, but he granted it.

Do you think that this father knew that his son was going to waste it? Sure. Do you think he knew his son was headed for trouble? Sure.
The father realized that there are some things we only learn through pain. This kid was stubborn.  The father was very disappointed.  Do you know anyone like this?

In verse 13, it says "He got all he had together and sat off for a distant country and squandered his wealth in wild living." So basically, this guy heads for Hollywood . He’s going to live it up! He goes to the Sunset Strip in Jerusalem and gets in his Camelac and cruises the Boulevard. He’s having one great time!

Unfortunately, the father’s instinct was correct, as the son "…squandered his wealth in wild living." He took everything his dad had given him and blew it. He wasted it all. At first the story is great. It’s party time! He’s living it up!  Go for the gusto! He probably tried everything, especially those things that were forbidden at home. He’s out having a good time and living it up.

However, we hear in v. 14 "After he spent everything, there was a severe famine in the whole country and he began to be in need so he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. And he longed to fill his stomach with the pods the pigs were eating but no one gave him anything."
Now it’s hard times! The party’s over! He’s broke. He’s friendless. He hits bottom. He has empty pockets, empty stomach, empty life.

For a kosher Jew that’s about as low as you can go. You couldn’t even eat pork, much less touch the pigs or work with them. Here this kid is tending pigs, wishing to eat their food!

Meanwhile, the father’s heart was broken when his son left. I imagine that every day while he was gone, the father thought of the son and wondered where he was and what he was doing. Each afternoon about sundown he would walk to the edge of his property, stand at his stone fence and look down the road that had taken his son away. He was looking, longing, hoping that one day his son would return.

But each evening he would return home disappointed.

Finally, there’s a change in the son in v. 17, "When he came to his senses." He realizes the mess he’s in, and the mistakes he’s made, and how he’s sinned against and disappointed his father. The son not only comes to his senses, but he also gets homesick. He’s sitting in the pigpen and says, "This place stinks. It’s the pits. My dad’s servants get better treatment than this." He gets desperate. So he says in repentance, "I will go home," and he heads off for home to ask forgiveness.

Now, here’s where it gets very interesting.

You remember the father who was so disappointed, but still searched the dusty road each evening for his son.  One evening, as he continued his vigil, he saw the outline of a person and there was something about the figure that looked familiar. In a flash, the father realized it was his son. Then he did an amazing thing. He jumped the stone fence and sprinted out to meet his son.

Verse 20 says, “While he was still a long way off, his father saw him.” Then it says, “he was filled with compassion and he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.” The Greek verb there indicates he kept on kissing him. We would say he “smothered him with kisses.”

Here’s a moving picture of acceptance and love. Notice the father did not set any conditions for acceptance. He did not say, "Go home and get shaved and a haircut and a bath and then I’ll hug you and kiss you."

I mean, really.  Can you imagine how this guy probably smelled? He’s been living in a pig pen! When he said "I’m leaving!" he got up with all that stuff on him, he walked home through the desert, with the pig mess probably caked through his beard and matted in his hair.
But what does his father do? He runs out and gives him a big bear hug. And kisses him. Unconditional acceptance. He didn’t say, "Go get a bath first!"

The father accepted him “just as he was.”

Acceptance says, "I love you, child, because you’re my child. God made you and I love you."
This is a wonderful story of the unconditional love of a parent, a father.  Even a disappointed one.

Now, I know that we all come from different backgrounds, and we all have different family experiences.  But I think we need to know that when we “come to our senses” we can come home to a forgiving father.

In his book, Capital of the World, Ernest Hemingway wrote about a father in Spain who had a son named Paco. Because of his son’s rebellion, Paco and his father were estranged. The father was bitter and angry with his son, and kicked him out of the home. After years of bitterness, the father’s anger ended and he realized his mistake. He began to look for Paco, with no results. Finally, in desperation, the father placed an ad in the Madrid newspaper. The ad read, “PACO, ALL IS FORGIVEN. MEET ME AT THE NEWSPAPER OFFICE AT 9AM TOMORROW. LOVE, YOUR FATHER.” Paco is a rather common name in Spain , and Hemingway wrote when the father arrived the next morning, there were 600 young men–all named Paco–waiting and hoping to receive the forgiveness of their fathers.

Forgiveness and love.  You see, our parable from scripture shows how God deals with us. We have become the prodigal son, disappointing our Father who art in heaven.  The Bible says we’ve all sinned and fall short of the glory of God.  We’ve taken matters into our own hands, we’ve done our own thing. We’ve gone off to that far country, and some of us are still sitting in the slop.

But God gazes down the road we’ve taken for us to come home one day.

It doesn’t matter what you’ve done to disappoint God or what kind of pig slop you’ve gotten yourself into, or even if it’s still on you.  God the Father, the Creator of the Universe, will welcome you just as you are.

God runs to meet us when we decided to return to Him.

And today, I’m talking to dads, to fathers.  Perhaps you feel that your children are far off from you.  But could it be because you are far off from God?

Right now, do you sense that God is far away from you? Have you mentally walked away from God? If so, then know this: God is a loving heavenly Father who is longing for you to return. He is looking for you to return to Him. With tender words of compassion He is saying to you: “When you start home, I’ll meet you more than halfway.”

And here’s the bonus! The father in the parable commanded the fattened calf to be killed, so they could have a real Famous Dave’s Barbecue! The fact the Father had been fattening up the calf makes me think he anticipated the return of his son. Everything the son left looking for, he found right back at his father’s house. It’s almost like The Wizard of Oz.  The father’s love for his wayward son had never changed. He treated the son as if he had never left.

Have you wandered away from God? If so, are you willing to say, “Father I have sinned against heaven and against you?” And are you willing to return to Him? If you are, He has a message for you. He is saying, “Come home.  I’ll treat you as if you never left!”